


Never an Option

by PaleRose



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Breakup Sex, But he doesn't fucking realize it, M/M, Miya Atsumu in Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:01:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26149129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaleRose/pseuds/PaleRose
Summary: It wasn’t supposed to end like this because “catching feels” was never an option. What they have is casual, a “life’s short, but you’re hot, so fuck it” type of deal. They flirt, they mess around, and they satisfy each other. No more, no less.--Atsuhina breakup sex fic
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou & Miya Atsumu, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu
Comments: 27
Kudos: 138





	Never an Option

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Slumber](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Slumber/gifts).



> This fic is now a part of a bigger work!! Check out [boys only want love if it's torture](archiveofourown.org/works/27090286) for the aftermath of this mess

It wasn’t supposed to end like this because “catching feels” was never an option. What they have is casual, a “life’s short, but you’re hot, so fuck it” type of deal. They flirt, they mess around, and they satisfy each other. No more, no less. 

It shouldn’t hurt this much, watching Shouyou, _god why did he start using his first name_ , leap into the air and eclipse the sun when he gets the call. He knew this was bound to happen, Shouyou said so himself. 

“MSBY is a great team, but I know there’s more out there.” 

What more could he possibly want when Atsumu has given everything, despite knowing it would break him? 

The ride home is silent, save for the radio playing some pop song that really does nothing to brighten Atsumu’s mood so he shuts it off. He doesn’t even think to drive Shouyou back to his own home, it’s just their routine. Practice, sex, sleepover, repeat. When they pull to a stop, Shouyou turns to look at him with those big eyes that ask a million wordless questions. He has to know something is up and Atsumu doesn’t have it in him to keep his big mouth shut. 

“So what,” Atsumu can taste the ire in his voice, “you’re goin’ to leave and go fuck off to some international league?” 

Hurt flashes across Shouyou’s face and Atsumu can’t stand to look at it. “You know I have to stay until the end of the season,” Shouyou’s voice is level, the complete opposite of his downward spiral that he can’t seem to stop. 

“What does it matter? It’s not goin’ to be the same knowin’ you’re leaving the team. ” But Atsumu makes it sound like ‘knowing that you’re leaving _me.’_ His hands grip his steering wheel even though they’re not moving.

“I’m not going to apologize.” The response is quick and direct, a crushing spike to his heart. 

“Fine, don’t fuckin’ apologize.” 

“Why are you acting like this!?” 

The question sets Atsumu over the edge. 

“Why didn’t you fuckin’ tell me you were goin’ to leave so soon!?” Atsumu practically shouts. He didn’t want to raise his voice, but all the bile and disgusting feelings he’s been trying suppress are rising to the surface and what does it matter if Shouyou hates him now? The only thing that’s certain is this would end in heartbreak no matter what. 

“I didn’t want… I didn’t think you’d care,” Shouyou admits. Atsumu dares to look at him and the color in his cheeks has flushed away, leaving a hollow pale that steals his youthfulness. He did this, he snuffed out the sun so quickly and without a single thought because he's the heartless twin. 

“You’re right, I shouldn’t fuckin’ care.” He drives the wedge between them even further, splintering his heart in two. It’s probably better this way. By the time Shouyou leaves, Atsumu won’t feel a thing. He can go back to fucking whoever he wants and not feel this attachment to someone he never had a chance with. 

“He’s too good for you,” he remembers his brother saying when they first started hooking up. The funny thing is, Samu was right. Shouyou is too good for MSBY, too good to stay locked in Japan, and too good for him. 

“I don’t fuckin’ care anymore. You do what you want.” 

“That’s it then? Are you going to act like you’re happy for me? Are we going to keep fucking each other and pretend like everything is okay? You know, you were the one who said this was supposed to be a casual thing and now you’re fucking screaming at me for not 'telling you' about the plans I made you and the entire team _abundantly_ aware of from the moment I put on my jersey? I mean, c'mon Atsumu! What are you fucking saying!?” The corners of Shouyou’s eyes go blurry with tears and he’s shaking, white knuckled fists balled in his lap. 

“Do you know I went along with this whole ‘friends with benefits’ thing because I wanted to be with you so badly? I didn’t care if you said it was temporary because I never thought…” His voice trails off as he winces at himself, screwing his eyes shut and swallowing his pride. 

“I never thought you’d want anything more than something temporary.” 

The words cut through Atsumu like a blade, forged from the assumptions made and the time they’ve wasted. A choice needs to be made, either beg Shouyou to stay or set him free. Too bad he’s not so good at picking what’s best for himself. He grabs Shouyou by the neck and crushes their mouths together, there’s no more time for talking. If this is going to be their last time, he might as well go out with a bang. 

They burst through the door of Atsumu’s apartment and tear their clothes off, leaving a sordid trail from the welcome mat all the way to Atsumu’s bedroom. Atsumu all but slams Shouyou against his bedroom wall and kisses him like he’ll die if they stop. They’re all wet mouths and clacking teeth and Atsumu feels like his chest is about to burst. Shouyou jumps into Atsumu’s arms and wraps his strong thighs around Atsumu’s waist, practically forcing himself up the wall to gain the high ground. Atsumu anchors his arms around Shouyou’s back and carries him over to the bed, throwing him onto his mattress. He kneels above Shouyou’s naked body as it bounces on the bed. It sinks into unmade sheets and he doesn’t realize he’s crying until Shouyou reaches up to wipe away his tears.

Their lips meet again, this time soft and apologetic. He wishes he could know what’s going through Shouyou’s head. Does he realize this will probably be the last time? If he doesn’t, god help them both. They take turns memorizing the other’s body, kissing and touching and mouthing all the most sensitive spots until they are reduced to shivers and pleas for something more. Atsumu fucks Shouyou as deep as he can possibly manage, bottoming out and choking on his own voice. He can’t stand to forget how Shouyou’s eyes roll into the back of his skull and his mouth hangs open as he cums hard, gasping and absolutely flushed. 

And the next morning when Atsumu stirs to find a cold spot where Shouyou… _Hinata_ slept, he can’t stand himself because he let this shit happen. He went and got addicted to the sun and all he has to show is a scorching burn in his heart. 

**Author's Note:**

> I really like hurting Atsumu. Also you can thank Slumber for this.
> 
> [my twitter](https://twitter.com/palerosetweets)


End file.
